Wildest Party Experience?

[[DtK] [EM] Pilot_Jones]

Hello Folks! Pilot Jones here, just recovering from a wild weekend and this be my story;

Saturday night, I hit up the clubs with a couple of buddies for my Pal's 21st birthday and let me tell you, shit was wild! The ladies were fine and the club was booming.

So being single for quite a while, I'd figure "Hey.. I may as well chase tail while I'm here". My friends are with me at the bar when we spot a group of chicks dancing - No boyfriends in sight. It was perfect, this one girl in particular she just seemed to shine like nobody else on the floor, and it almost felt like a sign that I had to holla. So I tell my friends to hold it down at the bar while I head off and just talk to this chick. Let me tell you, she was way outta my league, hourglass figure in a black dress, brunette with her hair curled.

As I approached, I acted like a real gentleman, I asked her friends if I could kindly take her to dance. The girls checked me out for a second and had a giggle and pushed their friend toward me. So we moved and started dancing and just gave each other details of name, age, etc. As the songs got more touchy friendly (Slow jams, as it was an RnB club) we started getting real close, I placed my hand on her hips and we kinda did the whole corny swaying crap. I looked over this chick's shoulder to see my that my pal's are missing. I kinda shrugged it off, not thinking it was a big deal.

The music got progressively faster and the content becoming more explicit. This girl begins to get more wild as she does all sorts of crazy stunts - hair flinging, ass shaking, jumping.. Anything you can really think of. I try to contain her by holding her close but still maintaining a rhythm, at about this time she's whispering things into my ear about making out and possibly leaving the club, I'm mad keen on getting with her so we kiss a little and I place my hands on her ass.

You might think "Awesome Job, Pilot! You hooked up and had a great night!" Wrong.
I feel an odd sensation that my hands are unfamiliar with.. It feels wet and also feels some what thick in texture. I back off from the girl, but she continues to dance - unaware of the fact that I let go.

As I back away, I look at my hands.. And to my horror, a moist, clear substance with large portions of brown cover my hands.

My hands are covered with shit and sweat. I have no freaking clue why, but I had the natural instinct to smell my hand. and MY GOD it was terrible. I run toward the bathroom whimpering and turn the taps on full blast. The water cleans off the mess hands but it covers my shirt. Well shit. I clean up and check for my phone. 20 missed calls. about 3 - 4 from each friend. I call back to just hear my friend answer with a loud hostile tone (So loud, in fact I had to satirically hold the phone away from my face and clench my right eye) I hear him clear though, he says they were kicked out of the club and are now being chased by some crazy drunk dude. I try to calm him down and ask for his location while walking out of the club.

I am now a man, drenched in sweaty poo water, feeling rather upset due to the enjoyment of my night ending quickly. I am also hella concerned looking for my friends who could have possibly been stabbed and or killed. I ran to the street where my friend told me they were located while on the phone when suddenly I find this guy laying naked on the side of the street. I yell out to him, asking if he's alright while slowing down to approach with caution.

All of a sudden, I hear a scream only I can recognize from both the phone and in person, it was my friend, he proceeded to scream to me "DON'T GET CLOSE, HE'S THE GUY CHASING US" I look to the direction of where the voice is coming from. The alleyway. He and all my friends run out yelling while pointing frantically. I turn around and the naked guy is standing looking right at me and says "I'm mister jinky! touch my dick!!!!!" Let me tell you, I have never been so scared in my life and I just throw the hardest punch and knock the dude out cold (I was so freaked I even forgot that the dude's junk was just flopping everywhere) The guy fell pretty hard and I just stood there startled.

And my friends run to me yelling "WHAT THE HELL?" I was so confused, but he then explained they wanted to prank me so they payed the Birthday Boy's cousin to strip down and scare me.

It definitely wasn't the right time to mess around with a guy covered in shit, only wanting one thing from the night..
I came home feeling dirty and feeling bad for the dude I punched. That night was wild.


TL;DR: Friend's 21st, wanted to kiss a girl and ended up having poo on my hands, was attacked by a naked guy who turned out to be my friend's cousin.




So there's my story, I'm bored and I'm keen for a read - do any of DTK's members get wild on the occasion and have some funny stories to tell? If so, leave a story or two! or just enjoy this one I wrote.

[[DtK] [V] Liarma]

So let me get this straight...the girl shat herself?

[[DtK] [EM] Pilot_Jones]

So let me get this straight...the girl shat herself?

I'm certain it was a 'shart' - Probably all the momentum from her dancing have resulted in a quick release thus resulting to my misfortune ;c

[mrunknown]

My Wildest Party Experiance definately had to be in the Maccas Party Room. That shit was crazy! Party bags, ice cream cake, Play slide and having the happy meals with an apple juice <3 Anyone agree with me on this?

[[DtK] [N] PanicAtTheDisco]

I went into town one night (Underage ftw), anyways all I remember from that night was waking up the next day on some randoms front lawn in a suburb I never heard of. That was a great story to tell my parents -_-

zoMG Quy's party #4, sick♥♥♥♥.

[[DtK] [V] TC_TopCat]

I have learnt to keep my stories reserved

[[DtK] [T] TeeJayy]

I have learnt to keep my stories reserved

I could imagine you've got some pretty good stories TC Could you share any legendary ones pleeeassseeee!?

[[DtK] [JA] Shadow]

I have learnt to keep my stories reserved

did officer dibble catch you doing something naughty???

[[DtK] [EM] Krezand]

did officer dibble catch you doing something naughty???

nah, unfortunately i've been sleeping on the job.
i'll make sure ill keep an extra eye on topcat, though!

[[DtK] [V] TC_TopCat]

Actually I think I am in for a big night this Friday. It probably wont involve inappropriate things so I will be able to share, lol.

I will let you decide what 'inappropriate things' actually means.

[[DtK] [JA] Shadow]

Actually I think I am in for a big night this Friday. It probably wont involve inappropriate things so I will be able to share, lol.

I will let you decide what 'inappropriate things' actually means.

watch out, officer dibble is already onto your shenanigans

[[DtK] [EM] Krezand]

Actually I think I am in for a big night this Friday. It probably wont involve inappropriate things so I will be able to share, lol.

I will let you decide what 'inappropriate things' actually means.

ironic how its called the cat whistle ^_^
eyyy, eyyyyyy.

[[DtK] [M] Burlesque]

It probably wont involve inappropriate things so I will be able to share, lol.

Damn, totally thought I was in there.

[GatorTheHator]

HAH, i'll give you story also, after Saturday night

[[DtK] [V] TC_TopCat]

Actually, I can tell you about this one time where a manufacturer flew me and 5 other people in my team to Melbourne.

So Im an electrical engineer and a manufacturer wanted to take a few of us to their factory in Melbourne so we can look around and see the quality of the product they are producing, also to introduce that lots of their gear is made\manufactured in Aus. Thats cool.
So we arrive in Melbourne. Its cold.
Then we all got into 2 mysterious lookin vans and went on a 10 min drive to their factory where we met some people and hung out and listened to presentations and their propaganda and things like that. Then we went for a walk around the factory.
Lunchtime. BBQ out the back for the whole place. *3 beers consumed*
Head back to the presentation room, where there is talking from their CFO about how good a particular product is, but most of my team were asleep cos we had to get up so early. Then it all finished and we jumped in a taxi and dropped our gear off at the hotel the manufacturers paid for us to stay in.
Dinner time.
So we walked to a pub and got a drink before the AFL game they were taking us to.
*beer*
then sat down.
*beer*
and then we ordered some food
*beer*
*beer*
and then we discovered that none of us had ever watched an AFL match or know any of the rules.
So we decided to put $10 each.
*beer*
We placed our money on Carlton, the underdogs against Collingwood, who had apparently won quite a few times in a row.
We walked to 'the G' from the pub and took our seats.
*beer*
First quarter, Carlton was up. Its time for the second quarter.
*beer*
Carlton still up at half time. Collingwood still seems strong. anything can happen at this stage.
especially beer.
*beer*
third quarter ends and Carlton still has it. everyone is feelin pretty good.
So we are all bought another beer.
Game over and Carlton cleared it, without a doubt. There was
*beer*
no way collingwood was gonna come back from that.
So we all cheered, and got a $45 return on our $10.
And took a group photo.
*beer*
Then went to the bar inside the grounds.
*beer*
Then we left. We were walking in the freezing cold to get a taxi, when one of the Reps noticed this car from the 1920's saying 'city tours' on it.
I kid you not, The old guy, named Louis, was about 150 years old and said he could take all 8 of us rascals.
There are no seats or seatbelts in this car.
I dont think anybody noticed. Too smashed.
So there is one guy in the passenger seat and 7 other blokes squished up at the back in benches that run opposite eachother. We end up at some pub on a corner. I dont know what it was called.
*beer*
So there is this girl... at the bar... by herself... nice dress... stockings... dyed black hair... giving me the eye.
So I end up standing near her and shes asking me about something she doesnt really care about like where an ATM is or if it was Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with a rope, but I knew where it was going... so I did what any skilled conversationalist does, and let the conversation die, and walk away and tell my work mate to ♥♥♥♥ off after he asked 'uhh... was that what I thought it was??'
Yeah, I guess it was, but it didnt.
*beer*
*beer*
*beer*
Headed to some Pony place.
Little Pony.
Wild Pony.
There were some sort of horse in the name.
I didnt make it there.
*beer*
I dont quite recall where I went, but I did manage to get back to the hotel at some stage and I emerged in the morning to all of my workmates going: Holy shit! There you are! What happened to you last night?
And I said that we were nearly inolved in the Hangover movie IRL and we all laughed and then I had eggs for breakfast.

[[DtK] [V] TC_TopCat]

The sequel to that story is that I took a 1-hour train from Melb CBD to visit NosPro and TurtleTom and we spoke for hours and they gave me free food and let me charge my phone .

[[DtK] [EM] Krezand]

You've never seen an AFL match before? .......
well, luckily you went to one of the big blockbuster matches ^_^

[[DtK] [V] super.hornet]

I think I ended up at the hospital plenty of times without alcohol.

[[DtK] [EM] Finch]

Passes out from 4 drinks

nah mate 3/4 of a case not 4 bottles

[[DtK] [EM] Pilot_Jones]

New story for y'all. I wasn't able to write it down as I was busy all day.

What appeared to be an average night became a very strange and thrilling one.

It was Saturday and I was just finishing the latest episode of Breaking Bad when my friend who had just turned 21 (in the first story) called me on my cellphone, I answer to hear a very harsh, distorted noise coming from the other end in which sounds like music, I jokingly ask "Hey man, mind turning that down for a second?" But no there was no reply, I figured it was just a Butt-dial and decided to hang up.

minutes later and he calls me again, Music still blaring, but this time I hear my friend screaming and making all sorts of strange sounds, I hang up on him and raise my eyebrows in confusion.

Suddenly curious I pause the show, I head to my car and drive down 5km to his house to figure what was going on. To my surprise, I see his house brightly lit, flashing lights with the color changing with each blink.

I finally identified the loud sound as dubstep, not being a particular fan of the genre, I was contemplating on leaving, believing that it wasn't worth coming to see him for.. But my friend's screams aroused interest, so I had to check it out. What I had originally perceived as another wild party hosted by my friend turned dramatically when I had realized that something was off.

I had noticed that there were no people laying in the front lawn. But it's past 2am? more suspicion arose. No people seen at the window. With a place as small as my friend's, there was bound to be people talking outside, but there wasn't.

I was getting worried, I walk briskly toward the front door, it's locked. It was definitely strange. I make my way to the side door, yelling for my pal as I stray past through the kitchen. Once again, no response. I search through the house with no trace of him. My focus was off, the music still playing in the background made it hard to concentrate but I was more focused on looking for my friend than to turn it off. When I had cleared all rooms I remembered that he had a mobile home parked in the backyard. So I make my way there.

The door was wide open.

I jog toward the trailer, carefully slowing down to walk in and only to find my friend strapped to the bed, naked and covered in chicken powder and oil.
He looks at me and I look at him. It's almost comical how long the shared eye contact was. I yelp in fright and he screams louder. He begins to plead for my help, crying like a scared puppy "Dude, ♥♥♥♥ing help me!!" I remember the words piercing my ears, the sound level of his voice that night could hurt the ears of even the deafest man.

Hesitant, I stand there looking at the ceiling trying to avoid looking at him. I try to find the least awkward way to untie him, I reach over to his arms still maintaining my eyesight and untie him. I tell him "Look man, you need to untie your own legs." I made it very clear that I wanted to avoid anything more than a bromance.

A few minutes later my friend is finally free, he covers himself with the pillow.
Do I dare ask? Of course.. "What's the deal man?" I ask. he gives me a strange look. he bites his lip and shakes his head. "She'll hear you." I think to myself that he may have taken some illicit drugs.. I'm unsure of what to do so I hand him a glass of water. But he hasn't appeared to do anything crazy.

I finally bring myself to ask "Who's she?" My friend points toward the cabinet.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Holy ♥♥♥♥ there's gonna be a dead body. Nope. Scarier than that.

I tip-toe toward the cabinet, hand out to open it. I give my friend one last look. He nodded to confirm that whatever he was scared of was in there.
With excessive speed I quickly open the door, scream project in my direction. I fall back. Now at eye level with what screamed at me. It's a naked chick, ALSO covered in powder and oil but she appears to be drenched from the neck up. Her hair, literally dripping with yellow liquid. Baffled, I can't comprehend what ♥♥♥♥ery my night has underwent.

I regain composure and stand up, the girl and my friend both looking at me in fright.
I turn to the girl and ask what the hell is going on, I reach for my phone to make a call to what originally was gonna be the police. My friend tells me as I begin to dial 000.

It turns out, my friend was into some real kinky stuff after smoking, he called his ex girlfriend and she came over.

• The loud music and lights were from when they danced and then proceeded to have sex inside the trailer.
  
• The oil and chicken powder they were covered with were from a bunch of Mi-Goreng flavor packets they tried to use in substitute of massage oil.
  
• The yellow liquid dripping from the her hair? urine.
  
• My buddy explains in detail that she tickled his weak spot and he urinated all over her, causing her to bite him on his ding dong. Coincidentally, the second time the phone rang was accidental, the screaming - from the girl biting him.
  
• The intention he had the first time he rang was to ask for advice on whether to get back with his ex-girlfiend or not

Grief had stricken me. The suspense exhausting. I sigh in disappointment and leave.
The last thing I hear from him is telling his girlfriend "I think my fingernails are falling off"

I'm off partying for a while, things should not happen this frequently.

[[DtK] [JA] Mellow]

Please never leave me jones. I love you


I regret nothing.