INTRODUCING OUR NEW MODE:
OFFICE FREE FOR ALL
PART 1 IN A SERIES OF EVENTS
OFFICE: CIVIL WAR
"Teams? Why have friends when you can have enemies? Kill 'em all, I said!" - anonymous survivor
"Although the reasons behind the civil war were myriad and complex, the initial fuse was lit by a free for all competition within a previously amicable online gaming community. It pit friend against friend, teammate against teammate, server against server, and left behind a legacy of bitterness which destroyed relationships, families, and ultimately civil society. The rage that the players took into the world from this game spread like a virus throughout Australia and previously minor differences of opinion became causes for long-lasting and widespread violence. Who can forget the Tasmanian Peanut Butter wars, for example, pitting those who preferred smooth against fans of crunchy, or the Brisbane Cat Breed riots, which razed entire suburbs. Religion and politics gave way to sports affiliation and car brands, which in turn became envelope shapes and fabric manufacturers, and finally, when logic and reason were buried beneath the rubble of a thousand burning villages, inny belly buttons versus outy belly buttons. Argument persists about the underlying causes for the war, but historians are unanimous in that it was here, in Dying2Kill, that the spark which lit the fuse was struck.”
- Dr. Felicity Chipmonk, Lecturer in inHumanities, Wilcannia University
“The underlying cause of the war was quite simple: intellectual laxity. Violent video games were the doorway to delinquency, through which the morally depraved members of Dying2Kill passed before moving on to injecting marijuana and pushing over old ladies in the street. The whole conflict could have been prevented by a strong belief in monarchism, obedience to parents, and some good old-fashioned schoolyard bullying.”
- Timothy Forceps, historian and qualified lunatic
“During the opening phase of the Australian Civil War the only true winners were kiwi popcorn companies”
- Profiteer Monthly Magazine
“Halfway through a sentence, the accused stopped and gazed into the middle distance, a faraway look in her eyes. 'You weren’t there, man' she told me, 'You didn’t see. You wouldn’t understand.'”
- Prosecutor, International Tribunal for Crimes against Seafood
“One minute I was inducted into the Hall of Fame, the next the very people who voted me there were stabbing me in the back. It was spec-dak-ularly hurtful.”
- anonymous survivor
“Who am I? Where are we? How did we get here? What are you doing? I want my meds! Nurse!”
- Psycho, survivor
NO TEAMS.
NO FRIENDS.
NO FAVOURS.
SERVER #3, OFFICE
FRIDAY 29th MAY
8pm – 10pm.
STRIKE THE SPARK